You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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