he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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