I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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