He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
