She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
