got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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