I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
