Is it because I queefed?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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