There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
