So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
