In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
