I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
