at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
