so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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