I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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