he wants to bone in the snuggie
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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