yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
