whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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