I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I touched a dick in church today
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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