I'm gonna have a badass scar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
