This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
