just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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