Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
