I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
