I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
