So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
