I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
