Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
