I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
