AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
