I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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