Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
