I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
