Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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