I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
a search helicopter?!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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