The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
