Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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