Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
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