I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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