God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
