Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
