I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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