i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
