it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
