if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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