I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
