So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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