After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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