they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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