I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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