Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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