Please, let me fuck your mom
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
