This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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